And then the fight started

1. When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.... So, I took her to a gas station.....

And then the fight started....

2. My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....

3. After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt". So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me". And she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too".

And then the fight started.....

4. Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And then the fight started ...

5. My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started.....

6. I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started.....

7. I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started.....

8. A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

The husband replies, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."

And then the fight started.....



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Kissing my 20s goodbye

Two days ago I celebrated my 29th birthday. It was one of my best birthdays ever. I was camping and my wife surprised me with a delecious chicken shaped cake.

Lately I've been thinking how funny that people get excited on their birthdays forgetting that they have just lost another year of their life's credit.

On this particular birthday I was a little bit sad that I'm living the last year of my 20s. When I hit 30, it's all going to be downhill thereafter.

I'm going to recap the good and bad of my favorite decade of my life year by year.

2002 (20 years old)

Good:

• I hit 20
• I took my one and only parachute junp.
• Nothing bad happened on this year.

2003 ( 21 years old)

Good:

• I hit the milestone age of 21 which is the legal age.
• I graduated from college.
• I took my first trip with my friends to Sharm El sheikh
• I became an uncle for the first tine

Bad:

• My grandmother to my mom died. My first heartbreaking loss.

2004 (22 years old)

Good:

• I took my first job at the Minisrty of Planning.
• I fulfilled my dream and earned my first degree black belt in Kyokushin Karate
• I got employed at KOC

Bad:

• My other grandmother died. What a terrible loss.

2005 (23 years old)

Good:

• I became an uncle for the second time.
• I got my first promotion.
• Nothing bad happened in this year.

2006 (24 years old)

Good:

• I earned my second degree black belt in Kyukushin Karate

Bad:

• My grandfather died. What a catestrophic loss.

2007 (25 years old)

Good:

• I went to USA. A nice trip which tought me a big lesson.
• Nothing bad happened on this year

2008 (26 years old)

Good:

• I got engaged.
• I got married.
• I became an uncle for the third time.
• I became an uncle for the fourth time.
• I got my second promotion.

Bad:

• I got diagnosed with Spondylisis. A bad spine condition. My sport life detoriated.

2009 (27 years old)

Good:

• I earned my third degree black belt in Kyokushin Karate. 
• I became an internationally certified Kyokushin Karate Judge.
• I participated in my first international Kyokushin chanpionship as a judge becoming the first Kuwaiti certified international judge to judge an international event.
• I went on a cruise. very memorable trip.
• Nothing bad happened on this year.

2010 (28 years old)

Good:

• I took my third promotion
• I participated in my second international Kyokushin championship (world cup) as a judge. 

Bad:

• I lost a newphew. (4 years old). What a sad nephew.
• I got diagnosed with cancer. Removed and hopefully will not return.

2011 (29 years old)
 still
Good:

• I bacame an uncle for the 5th time.

Bad:

• On march the 3rd I had a terrible car accident which caused my spine to be decompressed at L4 vertabrea, a fractured kneecap, a dislocated anckle and broken foot. I'm still being hospitalized while adding this point to the post.

To be continued until I hit 30

ايراااااااااااااااان

في محادثة لطيفة بيني وبين اصدقاء الدراسة في الجامعة في عرس واحد ثالث من اصدقاء مقاعد الدراسة عن الاوذاع في البحرين والعالم العربي، ذكر الأخ العزيز سلمان خريبط مسج واصله من احد اقربائه وانقله لكم بتصرف:

المظاهرات اللي بتونس وسقوط حكومة بن علي اهي بتحريض من ايران

المظاهرات اللي بمصر وسقوط حكومة حسني مبارك سببها ايران

المظاهرات اللي بليبيا سببها ايران

المظاهرات اللي باليمن سببها ايران

المظاهرات اللي بالجزائر سببها ايران

المظاهرات اللي بالبحرين اهي من مخربين مدسوسين من ايران

المظاهرات اللي بايران هم سببها ايران

العملية اللي سويتها قبل 3 اشهر هم سببها ايران

مسلم البراك وربعه مدزوزين من ايران

القز بشارع الحب والخليج بتحريض من ايران

استاد جابر كله عيوب بسبة مهندسين ايران

الزحمة اللي بالشوارع مسويتها ايران

يقولكم حتى يوم القيامة راح يكون بتحريض من ايران

اتخسي هالايران صارت اقوى من امريكا واسرائيل

خلاص عاد يا ايران مالج شغل الا احنا؟

Dreams

Dreams. One of the bizarre and insufficiently explained brain functions. They have scientific and religious explanations to them, but to me, those explanations are not enough. They will remain a mystery to mankind and dreaming will remain not fully understood. No one really knows exactly why do we dream and what are the exact functions of dreaming. Scientists say that dreaming is a brain function that helps the brain sort out the information it processed during the day, storing vital information into the long term memory and deleting the unimportant ones. Religion on the other hand, says that dreaming is a form of predicting the future like what is mentioned in the holy quran in Surat Yousef and I've never seen a contradiction so big between science and religion about this subject.

A person dreams several dreams in one night and as for me, I can hardly remember them when I wake up unless if I have a really weird dream that makes me say to myself when wake up "What the hell was that all about?"

The reason why am I talking about dreams out of no where is because of this very weird dream I had last night. I had a dream which its events occur during the early 1980s. It was in our old house before it got renovated in the 1990s. My parents were so young in this dream and so was I. The weirdest of all is the visit from my uncle's ex wife whom I've never met before. When I woke up I asked myself "why the hell did I dream of a woman whom I don't even know how does she look like and who never do I think about" and there she was in my dream so white with green eyes and wide nose. Somewhat like a Philipino lady.

There she was sitting on our old couch and my father asked her "How is Sundis and Bebe?" She said "They are fine. Sundis is 7 and Bebe is 3". I thought "wow how retro this dream is". My cousins the sisters Sundis and Bebe are mothers to school children now.

The thing that makes this dream is so stuck to my head is the thought I had before I went to sleep when my head ws on the pillow. I was thinking "Wow, in 10 days I;m going to be 29 years old. I can't believe how fast I reached this age without doing anything that exciting. I can never get those 29 years back" and there it was, my dream with me being so young as if my mind is telling me something.

Here I am, 10 days short of being 29 years old with a back problem of a 50 years old person already. Here I am, didn't hit 30 yet and already been diagnosed with cancer. (Praise god almighty for my health and the fact that I'm still blessed more than many poeple)

I just realized how short life is and it's time for me to do something big before it's to late. But the thing is what is it that I want to do?

All I ever want to do before I die is flying a fighter jet preferably an F-16. How the hell am I going to do that?

My Story with Oakley sunglasses

I have a burning question in my mind, why the hell everytime I buy myself an Oakley sunglasses, it either gets broken or completely lost?

I mean broken in half or completely teleported to a black hole.

I always own two pairs of shades, one Rayban type for formal wear

and another Oakley shades for casual wear

and boy do I love Oakley glasses? I feel like killing someone when I wear them and you can see from my picture above that I'm wearing one. you can checkout my facebook pictures http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=768090573 and see for yourself how many pictures of me wearing Oakley.

My relationship with Oakley dates back to my early college years, specifically the year 2001. They used to be stuck on my face to the point I got famous for it in college and I was known as Mohammad the Oakley man.

Not only in college did I wear them, I wore them when I jog, bike, Karate train and swim.  I even wore them in Haj while I was wearing the Ihram. To bad I've lost the picture where I was wearing them with the Ihram. Yeah they took a picture of me :)

The very sad story is I just can't keep them safe like my other stuff. They either break in half or completely lost and I don't know why. I'm really good at perserving my stuff for years except Oakleys to the point that I feel god is testing me by making me lose my dearest thing.

From 2001 until now I owned 5 Oaklies. First 3 were broken and the rest lost. How the first 3 were broken? someone always steps on them and the thing I cannot fathom is how the rest were lost. The more I bought one the less time it stayed with me. For example the very first one stayed with me like 2 years and the last one stayed less than 2 months.

Take the one I'm wearing in the picture above, that's Oakley #4, It disappeares like someone had stolen them. Really like one minute they were next to me and the next pooooof disappeared like a genie does.

The reason I'm venting by writing this post is because of this Oakley #5

When I lost Oakley #4 I said to myslef that's it no more Oaklies. I got sick and tired from getting hurt from either breaking or losing one. I mean hurt like Tom Hanks losing his ball Wilson in Cast Away hurt. So I went 2 years without an Oakley until I felt I can't go without one anymore, because Oakley is one of the things that define my character like losing my cynical sense of humor or something.

On 23/12/2010, I went shopping for one and I instantly fell in love with the one above. When I told the salesman I wanted it, I was telling myself please don't break or lose it, I can't afford that anymore and lo and behold I lost it the night before (7/2/2011).

You cannot imagine how frustrated I am right now because:

1- This Oakley didn't last even for 2 full months.
2- The way it got lost.

I left my parents house that night with the glasses in my hand. I am sure they were in my hand like I'm sure I'm typing this right now. So I got in the car, reached my final destination and poooof, no Oakley. I was like aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh not again!!!! This time I know it was in the car. I searched my car like 10 times, went back to my parents house because mybe I was hellusinating and didn't take them with me, and I even turned my appartment upside down to double check they didn't even leave the appartment and all searching efforts lead to nothing. The way it got disappeard is so bizzar because I am dead sure the final place for it was in my car. Do you understand why I think they get lost by divine intervention?

I am so sad that I had a dream last night that everyone I know have given me the same Oakley just to make me feel better, even our maide.

Bye bye my Ducati Oakley and I'm gonna fucking buy me another one because it's getting personal.

   

Kryptonite: Superman's Killer

Is there really such a thing as kryptonite?

 Kryptonite is a fictional element that was said to have come from the planet Krypton. It looks like a bright green rock or gemstone, and can be deadly for Superman or other native Kryptonians. There IS, however, a chemical element called krypton. It's a mostly inert gaseous element that's used in fluorescent and gas discharge lamps. The element was discovered by British chemists William Ramsay and Morris Travers, who was born on this date in 1872. Upon distilling liquified argon, the two scientists collected three new gases: neon, krypton and xenon. They derived the names from the Greek words for "the new," "the hidden," and "the strange."

Source: answers.com